I love food and so will you for the next few minutes. Go ahead and get your grocery list out because I've got 5 snacks you need to have on there.

SpaghettiO's:
                                                         
    Uh-oh, SpaghettiO's. The grandfather of all "junk foods" in my life. But you won't hear me calling it a junk food. Hell no. Spaghetti-O's are as beneficial as they are tasty. Yea, all you health nuts and doctors (I'm talking to you Esch) will claim it can't possibly have nutritional value. I beg to differ. According to the slightly well-known Food and Drug Administration, SpaghettiO's possess a good source of Vitamin A, 4 essential B-vitamins, iron and fiber, with only 1 gram of fat per serving. Throw the meatballs in there and you get a great portion of protein. So I don't want to hear it anymore, Mom! Besides, it's spaghetti you can eat with a spoon! You gonna argue with that?!

Cup O' Noodles:
                                               
     You want to have a direct-boiling water faucet to truly enjoy the speed at which you can eliminate hunger. As opposed to the previous cabinet food that can actually do some good, Cup O' Noodles basically serves no purpose beyond taste. But who cares! It's freakin' delicious. I could easily inhale 3-4 cups in one day. Actually, I believe I have on multiple occasions. The beef flavor is my personal favorite, but I'll even go as far to say the Salsa Picante Shrimp is tasty. Besides sushi, this is the best thing to come out of Japan. Cars come in third. The list of flavors sounds like a scene from Forrest Gump as there are 18 flavors from Beef to Spicy Keesh Vegetable.

                                  Be right back, I'm going to go make some Cup O' Noodles..........

Dole Pineapple Chunks:
                                                          
      I'm not sure if enough people know about this treat. I always like to have a bunch of these in my kitchen.  Although it has some nutritious value like being rich in vitamin C and being a fruit.  On the bad side, it is stacked with sugar. And I mean chock full of it. So, enjoy your pineapple chunks and then go brush your teeth after you've sufficiently enjoyed the taste. Someone hand me a fork, please.

Oreo Double Stuff:
                                                      
       Have you seen Talladega Nights? The way Ricky Bobby feels about Big Red gum is how I feel about this snack. For visual reference, watch here. Anyway, why do I love Double Stuff so much? Everybody loves a good Oreo (I hope), so just double that sensation. There you go. I think they should just remake this scene in Rounders.

Easy Mac:
                                                      
           I have always been an avid fan of mac & cheese. It is as tasty as food can get. Everything about it is perfect. But then Kraft had to go and one-up itself with Easy Mac. I'm pretty sure this whole idea was geared towards college students because almost never have I seen a dorm room without Easy Mac. Those rooms that don't have at least one cup of it clearly are not "in the know." All you need to do is put some water in the pre-made cup, nuke it for 2 minutes, stir and you're good to go. Enjoy your delicious bowl of deliciousness.


I hope you are salivating right now because I know I am. In about 5 minutes I'll be sitting in this same seat watching the TPC @ Sawgrass with 5 snacks, 3 spoons, 1 fork, and my anxious stomach.

Of all the venues in all of sports, you may be surprised at the one I feel is the most visually stunning. The TPC at Sawgrass (Stadium Course) is hands down the most beautiful and well-crafted golf course in the world. On top of that I'd rate it the best sports venue today. Not even Fenway or Yankee Stadium does it for me. Not even Augusta National. I recommend you feast your eyes on this masterpiece by enjoying The Player's Championship. Tiger isn't playing so you'll get another opportunity to see why golf doesn't need Tiger (although his presence is highly recommended!). Adam Scott should continue his great season, while I like Stewart Cink to win the entire thing. Then again, I liked K.J. Choi too, but as of now he is 8 over-par on day 1!!!! Keep your eye on my favorite hole in all of golf, the 17th.

                          

    

                                                           

I am putting it on paper right now! The Dark Knight will be the greatest movie of all time. Better than The Godfather you might ask? Yes. Shawshank Redemption? Fight Club? Wall Street? Yes, yes, and yes. Why? Keep reading.


Batman Begins was as close to perfection as a movie can get in my personal opinion. Let's briefly list the reasons why...
 1) Batman is the coolest superhero of all time. Don't argue with me.
 2) Christopher Nolan is to directors what Jesus is to religion. Just nobody knows it yet.
 3) Christian Bale is the most talented and selective actor in modern film and possibly ever.
 4) A dark movie that doesn't follow the rules of being typical.
 5) A psychological movie. Batman Begins was as intelligent as it was action-packed.
 6) Character depth. I actually cared about every character that stepped on screen, even down to the homeless guy.
 7) Michael Caine (Alfred), Liam Neeson (Ra's Al Ghul//Henri Ducard), Gary Oldman (Lt. Jim Gordon), Cillian Murphy (Dr. Crane/Scarecrow), Tom Wilkinson (Carmine Falcone), Morgan Freeman (Lucius Fox).
 8) Pace and timing. It was impeccable.
 9) Did I mention Batman is a badass.

Rarely have I spent a day since discovering the creation of The Dark Knight without scavenging the Internet for insider information. Not a thing I have crossed has made me even the least bit skeptical.

The New Rachel Dawes: The first great news was of Maggie Gyllenhaal's replacing Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes. Gyllenhaal has always been one of my favorite actresses since her small role in Donnie Darko. Something about her just fits in with a dark movie like TDK.
       >   

The Near-Perfect Cast of Batman Begins Is Perfected: Not only did they return every crucial character and their actor, but the addition of new characters for TDK is filled with reliable stars. We will get into Heath Ledger as The Joker in a bit and Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face too. But throw in some talented actors for tiny roles like William Fichtner as the bank teller and the mysterious listing of Anthony Michael Hall as a character named Mike Engel and you've got a slugfest of talent.



The July 18th Release Date: BB was released June 15 of 2005. I can only guess that the company was proud of their development but unsure of its potential reception as the crappy Batman movies prior to it must have weakened the fan base. Well, word got around, and as the buzz continues to grow it is clear that a mid-July release is perfect for a monster blockbuster. Had it been a July 4th release it would seriously coincide with Will Smith's annual lockdown of that weekend with this year's Hancock. To me, July 18th is the grand finale to a superb summer movie season.

Even Darker And More Psychological Than The First: Theres no doubt BB was an intelligent thriller with great action to boot. A complete film I'd say. Only Christopher Nolan can produce a film with such dark overtones (see The Prestige) in order to get the most out of the story. With the addition of The Joker, and eventually Two-Face, the plots will only thicken and the dark plots will only get darker.
                                                       

The Promotional Campaign: As Cloverfield marked a new age of advertising movies by taking over the Internet community with virals and sneaky websites only the most devoted will find, TDK is one-upping it. Not only have multiple websites been created (by the actual production teams) but it has merged into the real world. A real-life campaign and traveling bus has circulated the country to promote Harvey Dent as the Gotham District Attorney. Of course, there is no Gotham and Harvey Dent is fictional. But this hasn't stopped hundred upon thousands of showing up at these "campaign stops." The previews that you can see after the article have been strategically placed over the waiting period adding just a little bit of plot each time.

                                                            Check Out A Few:
                                                     www.whysoserious.com
                                                www.ibelieveinharveydent.com
                                                   www.thegothamtimes.com

Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face: It is my understanding that most of you have no idea that the infamous criminal Two-Face will be the villain introduced as the movie progresses. The Joker is taking most of the press, but Harvey Dent has always been known to become Two-Face and I am very excited to say that Aaron Eckhart recently quoted in the LA Times as saying, "There are fans on the Internet who have done artist's versions of what they think it will look like, and I can tell you this: They're thinking small; Chris is going way farther than people think." He later said, "I can tell you that, basically, when you look at Two-Face, you should get sick to your stomach. Being the guy under all that, well, that was a lot of fun for me. It's like you would feel if you met someone whose face had pretty much been ripped off or burned off with acid." And you know what these fans are coming up with!!??? Check it out (Not for the squeamish). I also recently found out from a reliable inside source that the ratings committee was desperately trying to get The Dark Knight at an NC-17 rating, almost entirely based on Two-Face's grotesque features. According to the version of Two-Face that TDK is basing it off (The Long Halloween comic) the following picture looks about right.
                                                  


Heath Ledger as The Joker: Of all the amazing features that TDK has to offer, I am most excited for Heath Ledger's performance. I have already seen a good bit of it through viral videos, the 6-minute preview that was bootlegged around the Internet, and the most recently released trailer. But it's the rest of the things I've heard and personally believe. If you remember just after his death, Jack Nicholson (the original Joker) claimed he told Heath Ledger not to take the role of Joker as it is one of the most physically and mentally taxing roles out there. So true. And although the world will be greatly improved after we get to see his undoubtedly masterful performance, Nicholson is dead on. It's hard to look past the idea that Ledger may have become lost in this character. He claimed to have lost sleep over the things the Joker character says and does and at the person he had to become. Yes, it is tragic that he died, but if this performance is his last one and the legacy he leaves, it surely will be a lasting one. I'm already pinning it as the single best performance by an actor in cinematic history and there's still 2 months to go!!!

                                                    

The Previews: enjoy what follows...

The first teaser trailer that made me burst into a fit of joy:

The first full-length trailer:

The newest of the new...Be on the lookout for (a full look at the Joker and his personality, Harvey Dent quietly becoming Two-Face):

The famous and hard to find 6-minute sneak look at The Dark Knight. This appeared in front of I Am Legend only in IMAX theaters for one week. It's hard to see because it was filmed from someone's lap, but it's still drool-inducing:

   

                                              

I think I speak for most, if not all of you, when I say I never knew much about Iron Man the character. I didn't read comic books as a child. I didn't drool when the 10th edition of the 3rd issue of volume 8 came out or whatever the hell fanboys lose sleep over. But I do believe I am one of the premier movie watchers in the world today. And in being such, I feel some of the best ideas for fictional characters have been derived from comics. From Sin City to Batman. These characters have headlined some of the coolest movies of the past decade, when superheroes and comic book movies have become as popular as the Tim Horton's in Marietta.

                          

So, in my research prior to watching Iron Man, what did I understand about this character? He was created during the Cold War as a mechanism to grow American confidence against Russia. He is an alcoholic. He's just about as rich and powerful as Bruce Wayne (Batman), but not quite. Tony Stark (Iron Man) is a cocky, genius weapons manufacturer who uses his overflowing intelligence to create a suit that allows him to be a human fighter jet. So what did I think of the movie?

The Iron Man movie was like driving drunk. Now, I've never done it and neither should you, obviously. But the movie was fun and exciting at the time, but afterwards I felt like I wasted 2 hours of my life. You can easily get caught up in the bangs and the flashes, but all in all there really isn't much substance to the plot. This is what I loved so much about Batman Begins and will soon love about The Dark Knight. There is substance. Drama. Plot. Don't get me wrong, I love action-packed movies and I don't hate all movies that lack a great plot. No, rather, I just feel it would have made Iron Man that much better. But don't tell Iron Man I said that because he is a bona fide badass with serious style.

        

The action, though, is the purpose of the movie. And with that, it exceeded expectations. The CGI is amazing and the one-liners are awesome. But what I liked most about Iron Man was the humor. It's one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. I didn't expect it, although it's what Robert Downey is best at. Beyond the humor and action, Gwenyth Paltrow is back on screen looking as hot as ever as Pepper Potts. Basically, I don't have much to say about Iron Man. Although it left me a bit unsatisfied, it is, after all, an action movie. And it balanced humor with serious kick-ass action very well.

     out of 5 trophies

—Personal Update and Frequent Baseball Reports

—Movie News (Reviews of Iron Man, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Indiana Jones, etc.)

—Why The Dark Knight Will Be The Best Movie Of All Time

—Why David Blaine Is A Modern Day Philosopher

—and more!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I haven't been around consistently to write on the site. I am currently in Marietta, Ohio working out with my college team as the time passes before my report date of May 3rd. Once I report to Washington, PA and I settle into my host family's place, Eisentower30 will be up and running again on a daily basis. So check back if you like, but odds are we won't be kicking back into gear until around May 3rd.

Well, the Masters is over. I was wrong about almost everything I ever said. Regardless, Immelman played some great golf. And by great I mean consistent. While everybody chasing him made overly aggressive decisions that cost them in the long run, Immelman continued to just make it easy for himself. People are going to blame Tiger for not winning, but it is Immelman who is to blame for Tiger's finish. On a related note, Gary Player is smart.

So what's next now that the Masters is over?

Back to watching movies all day is a guarantee for me. But what I'm looking for are some new suggestions for this website. I will always be writing about movies and sports and my baseball career. But I'm asking you guys to comment on this piece with your new ideas. What do you want to read about? Give me a topic or a title and I'll do what I do by researching and keeping it humorous, yet informative.

-When Phil Mickelson goes down, he goes down in flames.

-Trevor Immelman has used it all. Skill, a safe game plan, and a whole lot of luck on the 15th.

-Brandt Snedeker is as relaxed under pressure as Tiger. Just when it seemed like he was going to blow any chance he had of winning, he came back and finished strong. Sure, he may not win, but it won't be because of his head.

-Tiger did a lot on Saturday, but could have done a lot more. Bogey-free golf was nice, but he missed out on about 2 or 3 birdie putts he rarely misses. The only way he can win is if Immelman chokes.

-Zach Johnson won't win, but he won't quit. Look for him to finish in the top 10.

-Andres Romero is a headcase.

-Don't count out Paul Casey for one moment.

-The weather was never really a factor. The wind picked up at times, but the real separator was each competitor's ability to stay calm under pressure.

-Everybody always says the Masters is won on the final 9 holes. I believe it will be won on the last hole. By this I mean you won't see the winner waiting around for people to finish. It'll be a 1-stroke victory decided by the 18th hole.

-The media's love affair with Zach Johnson is annoying, but thankfully will end in 24 hours.

-CBS is better than ESPN at golf.

Actually, it may be a harp. Or maybe the sound of slow death. I have no clue to be honest. But what I do know is that my anticipation of the Masters was slowly strangled to death by a sleep-inspiring soundtrack worthy of the most boring of awards ceremonies. Throw in Scott Van Pelt, who is usually screaming over his Sportscenter highlights, whispering as if raising his voice would destroy the very essence that is......The Masterssssss. Look, there are two things people want to see when they watch golf on television. One is Tiger and the other is golf. You don't need to remind the viewing public every commercial break that the Masters is "a tradition like no other" or "a prestigious event." No, we understand that by the music you so constantly throw into my brain making the couch ever so comfortable. Can you imagine what Sunday will be like if Tiger is not threatening to win? My goodness, it may get as many viewers as the Academy Awards by the time the Best Picture gets announced. Which I believe was 6 1/2. Well, now that I'm done ranting, let's discuss golf.

What I Learned From Day 1:

-Geoff Ogilvy is giving me yet another reason to hate the country of Australia. My pick to win shot an opening round +3.

-Tiger Woods is good even when he is average. The man posted back-to-back bogeys and then popped in an eagle chip on 15. I've never seen somebody make so many 10-15 foot putts to save par in my life.

-Nobody in the top 10 is going to finish in the top 10. Not even Justin Rose.

-The only reason Ian Poulter is ESPN.com's cover boy right now is because he got a hole-in-one. Come Sunday he won't even be in the top 25.

-Masters.com's live coverage of Amen Corner is a gift to golf fans everywhere that other sports need.

-Tiger will save golf's viewer numbers once again by being in the race come Sunday afternoon.

Well, life has been dull and boring since baseball ended. Hopefully I can find something to pick it back up and Masters week could be what I need. Not to mention, The Office starts back up on NBC tomorrow night! I'm sure a bunch of my readers don't like golf, but I beg you to reconsider. At the least, follow the world of Tiger. What he is accomplishing in his sport will never be matched by any athlete in their respective sport in your lifetime. That's just a fact. What he has done by only age 32 on and off the course surpasses what Jordan has done since he began playing basketball. There's just no comparison. Take this number for instance: Only one under 50 in the world has more than 3 Majors. That player is Tiger and he has 13. And the beauty of it is golf is a game in which we'll get to see Tiger playing for 3 more decades. Honored the way Arnold Palmer and others are. Anyway, on to this year's Masters.

                                             

What To Watch For:


Wednesday's Par-3 Challenge
     -Most everybody's favorite part of the Masters is the Par-3 course on Wednesday. Each player lets loose and has fun playing one of the most prestigious par-3 courses in the country. The best part is how everybody tries NOT to win because if there's one curse in golf, it's that nobody ever wins this and the Masters. But just the general enthusiasm of each player is what I watch. Especially the involvement of the players' kids and families. I'm calling 4 hole-in-ones.


Tiger Woods' 1st Step Towards a Grand Slam
       -If you missed it, Tiger said at the end of 2007 that a 2008 Grand Slam is "easily within reach." It obviously stirred some controversy, but I agree completely. And Tiger also said it best when he claimed, "If you're gonna dream, why not dream big." So why the heck not say it. Tiger doesn't play to see how much money he can win. He plays the game for Majors. He specifically designs his schedule around being at his peak during each of the four Majors. And if he wins the Masters we can keep discussing it.


Bubba Watson's Drives
       -This is Bubba Watson's first Masters and first chance to make a name for himself. He won't win, but a good finish can do wonders for his career. What I'll be watching is his PGA Tour leading 313.5 yards per drive. This may seem like a small number for the PGA Tour, but keep in mind that the pros don't just grip and rip every shot. They take as much as 50 yards off drives to put it in the right spot. Each shot affects the next shot more than the present one. How far you can hit it does not mean everything on the Tour. But keep in mind that the 2nd longest average is 307.7. The tour average is 281.6. Enough numbers for you? Let's not forget that to win the Masters you've got to be long and accurate off the tee.


Australia Looking for #1
        -No Australian player has ever won the Masters. They keep trying and trying, but no dice. And if Greg Norman couldn't win one, what chance do today's crop really have!? Well, I actually really like two guys' chances. Geoff Ogilvy and Adam Scott. Adam Scott is the best Aussie player on the Tour and although he is coming off the flu, look for him to finish in the top 10 at least.


MY PICK: GEOFF OGILVY